Monday, April 1, 2013

You Accursed Gods of Creativity


To curse of Writers Block is one that most writers suffer from.  Some take the writer’s block as a sign form the writing gods that it is a time to take a break, but not me.  I see it as a way for the writing gods to torment me and make me lie in my room as I suffer the stings of imagination wanting to be free but not being able to because the holder doesn't know how to set them free.  The pencil is like a dagger.  If I use it improperly I could slaughter my creation before it is complete. 
            Now I am left to watch YouTube and movies to try and get my creativity flowing; to get the flood gates of imagination opened.
            But it is not only writer’s bloke that is now plaguing my soul, but artist bloke as well.  In my mind I see what I want to draw but the moment my pencil meets the paper I’m erasing every two minutes. It’s as if my body is boycotting my mind; refusing to obey the simplest of commands.  WRITE YOU CURSED HANDS, CREATE, BRING LIFE TO MY CREATION!!!
            My hands refuse to work as I tell them to and my mind doesn't know when to take a nap. 

The Raven (My Short Story)


To know who I am I had to first know who I was.  The first thing I recall was waking up in an all white room.  On one wall was a mirror and in the far corner was a file.  I had been in the room before, it was my cell.  I knew why I was locked up, but never who I was.  My captives always called me “The Raven,” but this file in the corner of my cell told me that they were ready to share with me my identity, or someone was going behind someone’s back.
            I opened the file and read: Test Subject 99 updated file, Coed Name: The Raven, Sex: Male, Age: 18, Race: Caucasian, Hair Color: Dark brown, Eye Color: Silvery sky blue,  Subject Name: Sky Havran, Ability: Flight.
            The file contained my name, for the first time in two years I finally had a name.  For two years I lived in a laboratory prison on the outskirts of Russia.  The Doctors had erased my memory of my life before the laboratory prison.  They had told me that knowing the past would hold me from the future.  For the first month I was locked up in white rooms filled with Doctors who injected me with a serum they called, “Nurflügler,” that slowly took hold of my body and gave me abilities I myself could not fully understand.  It allowed me to create black wings that sprouted from my back like black roses.
            For the rest of the time my life in the laboratory was spent speeding up my transformation.  They would time me with how fast I could sprout my wings.  If I didn't sprout them quick enough they beat me.  They used electro therapy to punish me if I back talked or didn't cooperate as they wished.  They also trained my body to withstand saver beatings and speed up my healing ability.  They would chain me up and just allow people to beat me with metal sticks, zap me with cattle rods, at one point I remember someone actually shot me.  Several nights I went to be covered in bruises and occasionally with a broken bone or two.  They never taught me hand to hand combat, or how to defend myself.  They were afraid I would fight back, run a way, or both.  I was a caged bird with more power than it was aware of.
            By the second year I learned the organizations name, “The Institution of Dark Art Fusion.”  It was run by two people.  A man named Doctor Vsevold and his sister Madam Dominika.  Here they fused together science with the dark art that Madam Dominika practiced, and I was one of their little experiments.  The only thing I was unable to find out was why they were doing this.
            The end of the second year was when I found the file.  The file containing my lost identity.  I also remember a woman who started working for the institute, she didn't have a name; she only went by “The Widow.”  I remember her because she’s the one who broke me out of the Institute.  That night after I had read my file she came to me.  She told me she was an undercover agent for a top secret organization in England.  The next thing I knew she had me by the hand was pulling me down the halls at top speed.  Kicking down anyone who got in her way.
            After we left the institute we made base in a small town a few miles west near St. Peter’s Berg.   At first I was scared to trust the strange woman; I don’t think I will ever be able to easily trust anyone after my experience in the institute, but the woman reassured me that no harm would fall on me anymore.  She said she was going to take me somewhere safe.  By ten o’ clock the next morning we were on a plane heading to England.  We landed in a small town on the island Isle of Man.  From there we went to Castle town. 
            Castle Town is where I was fully brought up to speed on the situation.  The Widow introduced me to the organization built under the Parliament and is unknown to the public.  I was brought into this organization for one purpose: to help bring an end to the Institute.   The Widow took me under her wing and took care of me.  For the next year she trained me in ways the Institute failed to.  She showed me how to fight; she showed me how to use my gift instead of enhancing it, and she never beat me or hurt me.      
            After that she got me my own place.  Funded by the Organization and in watching distance.  It was a loft Apartment close to everything in Castle Town.  To keep the organization a secret we used the cover that the apartment was left to me in my dead grandmother’s will.  Along with the new place The Widow got me a job.  Close to the apartment and still under the watchful eye of the organization.  I worked in a book store, where I was finally able to read more than just science journals.  Here I could escape into the cascades of imagination and spread my wings.  
            At the apartment I was able to discover who I was.  I found a passion for drawing.  Just sketches here and there, but they were good and it made me happy.  I also discovered cooking.  I must admit at first I wasn’t really good at first, but the Widow helped me learn.  She was like the mother I never had.  After being taught the skill of cooking I was able to create delicious meals. 
            But the hospitality of the Organization wasn't over yet.  They funded my education and had enrolled me into a private university, the best that money could buy.  There I took the cover of being a boy who had received a great inheritance.  Not that it was far from the truth.  The Organization had donated so much money to me that I had a vault filled from floor to ceiling with money.  The school was called Crown Jewel Academy.   Although the education was great, my fellow peers weren't as much.  I was the awkward new kid at the school, despite my well built physique I was picked last for any sport, and was shunned from over half the tables in the cafeteria.  At least I had a table all to myself.
            That was my life during the day, but by night I fulfilled my duty to the Organization.  I was an on call mercenary.  Any activity involving the Institute required me to go out and put a stop to it.  I took on the alias “The Raven,” letting the Institute know that their once proud experiment was now their sworn enemy.   In one year alone I had killed almost fifty Institute agents, and interrogated sixty, and thirty of them committed suicide instead of facing the wrath of the Institute.  They weren't known for taking tattle telling kindly.  Usually if they found out one of their people had said something, they were already a dead man before they could even plead for mercy.  
            This was my life.  I constant cycle of work, house, school, killing.  Never ending.  The only thing I looked forward to was the academies biannual masquerade ball held in the fall and winter.  In the spring and summer the students simply created their own parties and would go on holiday for the long vacations.   I never really participated in the spring and summer parties, only the masquerades.  At the masquerades I could wear a mask, and was finally able to talk to people without them knowing I was the awkward new kid.  My life was like a two faced coin.  On one side my awkward social day life, and on the other my killing winged mercenary night life.  Two worlds in one, but unknowing to each other.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

My Broken World


I stand upon the crumbled ruins
Where glory once flourished
But now is stained with bruises.

My heart holds revolutions
Against those who do not nourish
I stand upon the crumbled ruins.

I dream of my losses
And of what I did not accomplish
But now is stained with bruises.

My castle stands in heaps of rubbles
Those hateful men did demolish
I stand upon the crumbled ruins.

I fixate on the delusions,
Of a long lost courtship
But now is stained with bruises.

I never felt so useless
Never before unwanted.
I stand upon the crumbled ruins
But now is stained with bruises. 

In This Dark War


In this dark war we gain no ground
People scream but we hear no sound.
We see the world take the fall
As we break down the great stone wall
And all that remains is the mound.

I have gained and lost by the pound
My world crumbles all around.
Is there someone out there to call
In this dark war?

All I dare seek is to be crowned
But where is all the glory found?
To make my enemies feel small
I most hold myself and stand tall.
I do not wish to become bound
In this dark war.

Finding Love Sonnet Poem


I have often thought about true love
As something you can find in story books,
As something that makes you fly like a dove,
And sends you sailing down the rabid brooks.

But how do we know when have found it,
Could it be sweet and dark as fine red wine?
Or is it dangerous like a snake pit?
But is it sharp like and untrimmed rose vine?

Can it fade away like the winter snow?
Or can it last beyond the fleeting years?
Answers that I can hope to someday know.
To prepare myself for the coming tears

The breaking of my heart will be in art.
Love is an emotion I fear will start.

Haiku Poems


“Ivy Kisses”
Sweet and tempting kiss
With lips of green desire
I long for a taste

“Frightful sleep”
Fear the moonlit night
Fear the monsters from below
Fear the frightful sleep

Cinquain Poem




Roses
Smooth, colorful
Blooming, winding, wilting
Frost over the peddles
Winter

Wolves
Furry, vicious
Frightening, haunting, stocking
Sit with their pack to plan their move
Forest